Introduction to the Wilderness

John,

A voice crying in the Wilderness

Testamony:

I accepted Yeshua as Lord and Savior when I was young. I don't remember exactly when, sometime before I was 8. I was baptized in a farm pond when I was 10. I was very active in our church, Christian Union in Ohio, all the way through high school. I attended a Bible School in the Midwest. Eventually I was baptized in the Holy Spirit during the Charismatic renewal. We, my wife and I, lead several small groups thorough out the years. I was an elder and small group leader in a non-denominational Christian Fellowship for several years.

We began our wilderness journey in 1989. At the time, I was the heir apparent for lab director at the Laboratory at which I worked at a big ten university, and was considered by some to be the heir apparent for the pastor of a fellowship where I was an elder and group leader. I was discipling several young men and oversaw a few other small groups. I traveled with both men; the lab director and the pastor. I knew them well. They each had their admirable qualities and what I considered flaws, however, I loved them both.

One morning, while I was drinking my morning coffee and asking the Lord’s direction for the day, He appeared before me and showed me the two men and asked me which one I wanted to be like. I admired them both but didn’t really want to be like either one. I answered that I wanted to be like Him, Yeshua. My relationship changed with the two men from that point on. I was not consciously doing anything different but they each realized that I was not following them anymore. The Lord began to challenge me about discipling others, about who I was really following, our programs, our control, our teaching minors and ignoring majors. He opened my spiritual eyes to see Him and His realm and called us “out from amongst them”. We walked away from Christian City never to look back. I had given Him permission to do what ever it took to me, so that I could know Him. I lost my job and benefits at the university, I lost my positions at the fellowship, we lost our friends, I lost my health to Crohn’s disease, we moved from the suburbs to the country, a county away, however, I gained my sight, a whole new level of intimacy with my Father, a new level of His presence, and dreams…hundreds of them, sometime 3 a night, which I wrote down. This went on for almost five years. He rewrote my theology, rewrote my understanding of science (I had earned a PhD in radiation physics at the university), rewrote my understanding of the world governments, and the financial world. We have learned to walk alone with Him, to be feed by Him, to be tested by Him and to stand with Him. I would never want to return to the condition I was in, ever.

The call out of Christian City was a broad call that a few answered, only the first fruits. It had a purpose, to take us to Sinai to meet our Father.

So now that you’ve left the system church what are you going to do?

Like the Children of Israel, it took an act of God to get you out of Egypt (the Church system) and it will take many acts of God over several years to get Egypt out of you. The Church system thinking is like a dye on cloth, the stains are deep, throughout every fiber. Only bleaching by the Son light will remove the stains. This is not something that you can do, this can only be accomplished by the ongoing work of the Holy Spirit in the most secret parts of your being.

Many, if not most, of your beliefs are wrong, not of God, lies, deception. These will have to be exposed, challenged, removed and replaced with the Truth, the person of Yeshua, not just a change of mind but a cleansing and transformation of heart. If you have not been born again and baptized in the Holy Spirit with the evidence of supernatural gifts then you will not be able to undergo this transformation.

You will not be ready for the Master’s use until all of your abilities and talents have been broken, your pride and self righteousness removed and you have been trained by the Holy Spirit to walk in humility with an unshakable desire for Yeshua and Yeshua alone to be lifted up, not you, not men, but Him alone. Then you are ready to begin the Master’s supernatural work as lead and empowered by His Spirit. If you start before then you will be in the work for the money, glory and credit. You will contaminate the people you touch with your sins and impurities giving them even more to weight then down and to overcome. If the Lord has given you gifts and talents for the Holy Spirit’s use and you use them instead, then you will become an idol to the people who have received your ministry, causing them to be idolaters.

If you left Egypt because you believe that you know more that the pastor or elders and you are more gifted, wise, humble etc. then the wilderness is for you. It is in the wilderness that Yahweh lets you see yourself for who you really are. He knew it all along and loves you anyway but you do not know it, and you must to grow. If you left the church system because they did not believe right or meet correctly then you will just set up another system church with your name on it, the wilderness is not for you. If you left because you were looking for Him then sell all you have and run to the wilderness as fast as you can for He awaits with outstretched arms for your arrival. If you left the church system because they abused you, took advantage of you, enslaved you, and lied to you then there is One awaiting you Who will bind your wounds, set you free and love you eternally, make you way to the wilderness and He will send His angels to help you on your way to find Him, the Lover of your soul.

You were used to getting tidbits of Him from your pastor’s sermons or maybe from your Bible study group. Someone fed you. Now it’s time to learn to be fed by the Lord Himself, to kill and eat. He will send the manna and quail after you have run out of food and are sufficiently hungry to cry out to the Lord for food. You will have to learn to find shade under His cloud and light by His fire. You will have to learn how to find water in the desert, supernaturally. You will learn to become dependent upon the Savior of your soul. You will have to learn how to handle serpents, where they hide and how to overcome them, to put them under your heel. But most of all you learn to follow the Wind for the Wind will lead you to the Mountain of your God, Sinai, where the presence of Yahweh dwells. The Wind is the voice crying in the wilderness, come out from amongst them and seek Him at Sinai and He will find you and fill you with His loving kindness then you will know His grace and love.

You will arrive at Sinai one person at a time, This cannot be done as a group. Like Abraham, Israel, Moses, and Elijah this is a personal experience. Once you’ve arrived and encountered the Lord your God, it will mark you for the rest of your life. Then He will be able to begin to use you for His purposes. If you shy back from Him you will find yourself back under the power of men. If you are afraid of the enemies of God then you will go back to the wilderness, perhaps to die there, for your children to pick up the mantle that you never received. He wants sons (and daughters) who walk in intimacy with Him, personally, nothing second hand. He is looking for sons who hear His voice, see His face and are fed at His hand. Nothing less will satisfy Him. This is the purpose of the wilderness. The wilderness becomes a place of refuge and precious intimacy with your God, a place of escape and peace. This is why you were called out of the system Church, to come and dwell with Him on His mountain.